How The Internet Ruins Moms

internetruinsmoms How The Internet Ruins Moms

The internet: what started off as a blessing with its ability to easily share photos with friends and family, and video call relatives abroad, has slowly become this place where moms openly fight, judge, brag, and condemn. And it’s exhausting us with constant articles on what we should be doing with our kids, how we should be baking, what we should be eating, and, and, and……!

It’s getting ugly. Real ugly.

What’s happening to us? We’re mothers, we’re supposed to be peacekeepers and nurturers, and yet somehow, the tiny device in our hands has suddenly given everyone the confidence to throw around judgements and accusations without a second thought. It used to be “It takes a village to raise a child” but it is quickly turning into “It takes one Facebook post to beatdown a mom.”

Would we let our children be so mean or so self-centered? So why is our behavior behind a laptop screen okay?

Here are four ways the internet has started breaking our sisterhood and ourselves.

1. Judgments

If there’s one thing moms are really good at, it’s judging other moms. Apparently, we can tell from one Facebook status what kind of mother she is. Who cares if I haven’t met her, did you see her Facebook status? She’s breastfeeding her 2 year old? Gross! She’s giving formula to her newborn? The horror! Someone call Child Protective Services, that mom just gave her child non-organic food!

Moms, if we don’t have anything nice to say, let’s zip it. If you’re not asked your opinion, move on.

2.Everyone And Anyone Has A Voice About YOUR Child

If you weren’t good at confrontations before becoming a mother, prepare yourself, because you’re about to become a pro. You will find yourself defending every decision you make like breastfeeding, formula feeding, cosleeping, sleeping separately, to the decisions you have no control over, like why your baby isn’t walking/crawling/reciting the alphabet in 15 different languages yet. The internet just makes this one hundred times worse. Complete strangers will judge your choices. People you’ll never meet, and people you meet daily, will say things to you on the internet that they would never say to your face. But apparently, behind a computer screen, it’s okay!

There are some people that should not be given internet access, because they simply use it to spread negativity and hate.

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3. Every Opinion Becomes Fact With A Back-Up Blog Post

The internet has opened the window for a person to have an opinion and for it to be claimed as a “fact.”

FYI- A blog post, an internet post, or your opinion does not become fact.

Let’s just say it: vaccinations. Of course every mother has an opinion on vaccinations because it affects the health of her child. Do any of us want to see our children get sick? No, we do not. Whether or not you do or don’t vaccinate, keep in mind the bigger picture: we all want healthy kids. No-one wants a sick child. And yet, I’ve seen women rip other women to shreds because of differing opinions.

It’s just one more war, to add to the many wars we already face as mothers.

I appreciate that everyone wants to keep all kids healthy, but let’s keep it real: posting articles directed at parents that do things differently to you, just creates more tension. Think before you post.

4. Facebook and Pinterest Perfection

The perfection attained on some Facebook and Pinterest photos is going to be the death of us. Perfect family photos, perfect baking, perfect crafting, perfect recycling of old furniture, perfect vacations, perfect, perfect, perfect, STOP! Seriously, enough!

If you have a real discussion with moms, you’ll know that many of them feel actual guilt for not doing “more.” Like, Pinterest perfect delicious baking “more.”  Or Facebook adorable craft idea “more.” Because apparently, the countless things we do every, single day with our kids just isn’t enough.

We teach our children to do their best, that whatever they’ve created is beautiful because they put time and effort into it, and yet we, the mothers who are exhausted with our own daily responsibilities (listing them would just be ridiculous), are competing against one another? For what? What’s the prize? The kids just want to be with you. They don’t need the fancy. They just need you.

 

So, mommies, let’s try and work together. Support each other. Help one another. Tell each other how frickin awesome we are even if we don’t agree with every decision other moms make. Let’s remember we ALL make mistakes, none of us are perfect, and that if one of our mistakes was put on the internet for the world to see, would that mean we’re horrible moms? No, it means we’re human. So who are we to judge another mom’s struggle?

Let’s remember that these children we brought into the world are watching us, and learning from us, and even though we are typing silently at our laptops or on our phones, we are carrying around negativity and self-righteousness that our children will inevitably pick up and learn. Because honestly, there’s enough hate in the world without us adding to it.

And always tell yourself: I am enough. You’re all they truly want.

Comments

  1. Mary Withrow says

    I’m not sure it is good for the children; how mothers use them for their blogs, pictures of everything from potty training to their new dress

  2. NoAdditives says

    We do let our children be that mean. Our children learn from our example and the judging and criticizing we pour on strangers is a huge part of the bullying epidemic. Now, more than ever, we focus on what makes us different. We may not focus on big things like race, region, or sexual orientation, but the focus on small things like co-sleeping, baby wearing, organic food, breastfeeding, etc. Are just as damaging. And don’t even get me started on the way people talk about celebrities whether they’re parents or not. It’s out if control and it directly effects our children.

    I won’t claim innocence. I’ve been just as gossipy and judgmental as anyone else. However, I am working to change those bad habits in order to benefit my four children. I know I have to be the kind of person I want my kids to be, I have to model good behavior. It isn’t always easy, but I know it’s important.

  3. says

    Don’t forget the spreading of fear. OMG- I have never seen so many stories that scared the crap out of me. Toddlers being carted off by strangers, assaults at daycare, kids tormenting other kids.. I get that this stuff is happening and maybe always has, but our access to it is now immediate and it can be overwhelming.

  4. says

    I couldn’t agree more with this. Pinterest is my nemesis because it’s unrealistic. I try to cook many of our meals from scratch, but it’s not realistic for me to be cooking all day and crafting every afternoon. You can’t be everything AND spend quality time with your family. So I just settle for being a mom who loves her kids and does fun stuff with them when I can and just tune out the rest of the chatter. Because at the end of the day we are raising good people, not ‘pin worthy’ or picture perfect kids.

  5. rebekah says

    Great article. I believe social media outlets can be used for so much good, but all too often it does the opposite. I started a facebook group of moms who have begun grappling with this very issue. It’s a place where we share our real stories with absolutely no threat of judgement. We have left perfection at the door. It’s been a great source of encouragement!

  6. cielo says

    Great article! It’s hard to not be judgemental now days, but is possible! If we spend less time w our gadgets & social media & more time with our love ones; perhaps, society & ourselves will concentrate on what is important, our well being!
    I believe that if we keep our minds busy with good things, good things will come from this!
    Raising kids nowadays is not an easy task due to every days demands, but many times simple things are worth more than all the money in the world!

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