The internet: what started off as a blessing with its ability to easily share photos with friends and family, and video call relatives abroad, has slowly become this place where moms openly fight, judge, brag, and condemn. And it’s exhausting us with constant articles on what we should be doing with our kids, how we should be baking, what we should be eating, and, and, and……!
It’s getting ugly. Real ugly.
What’s happening to us? We’re mothers, we’re supposed to be peacekeepers and nurturers, and yet somehow, the tiny device in our hands has suddenly given everyone the confidence to throw around judgements and accusations without a second thought. It used to be “It takes a village to raise a child” but it is quickly turning into “It takes one Facebook post to beatdown a mom.”
Would we let our children be so mean or so self-centered? So why is our behavior behind a laptop screen okay?
Here are four ways the internet has started breaking our sisterhood and ourselves.
If there’s one thing moms are really good at, it’s judging other moms. Apparently, we can tell from one Facebook status what kind of mother she is. Who cares if I haven’t met her, did you see her Facebook status? She’s breastfeeding her 2 year old? Gross! She’s giving formula to her newborn? The horror! Someone call Child Protective Services, that mom just gave her child non-organic food!
Moms, if we don’t have anything nice to say, let’s zip it. If you’re not asked your opinion, move on.
2.Everyone And Anyone Has A Voice About YOUR Child
If you weren’t good at confrontations before becoming a mother, prepare yourself, because you’re about to become a pro. You will find yourself defending every decision you make like breastfeeding, formula feeding, cosleeping, sleeping separately, to the decisions you have no control over, like why your baby isn’t walking/crawling/reciting the alphabet in 15 different languages yet. The internet just makes this one hundred times worse. Complete strangers will judge your choices. People you’ll never meet, and people you meet daily, will say things to you on the internet that they would never say to your face. But apparently, behind a computer screen, it’s okay!
There are some people that should not be given internet access, because they simply use it to spread negativity and hate.
3. Every Opinion Becomes Fact With A Back-Up Blog Post
The internet has opened the window for a person to have an opinion and for it to be claimed as a “fact.”
FYI- A blog post, an internet post, or your opinion does not become fact.
Let’s just say it: vaccinations. Of course every mother has an opinion on vaccinations because it affects the health of her child. Do any of us want to see our children get sick? No, we do not. Whether or not you do or don’t vaccinate, keep in mind the bigger picture: we all want healthy kids. No-one wants a sick child. And yet, I’ve seen women rip other women to shreds because of differing opinions.
It’s just one more war, to add to the many wars we already face as mothers.
I appreciate that everyone wants to keep all kids healthy, but let’s keep it real: posting articles directed at parents that do things differently to you, just creates more tension. Think before you post.
4. Facebook and Pinterest Perfection
The perfection attained on some Facebook and Pinterest photos is going to be the death of us. Perfect family photos, perfect baking, perfect crafting, perfect recycling of old furniture, perfect vacations, perfect, perfect, perfect, STOP! Seriously, enough!
If you have a real discussion with moms, you’ll know that many of them feel actual guilt for not doing “more.” Like, Pinterest perfect delicious baking “more.” Or Facebook adorable craft idea “more.” Because apparently, the countless things we do every, single day with our kids just isn’t enough.
We teach our children to do their best, that whatever they’ve created is beautiful because they put time and effort into it, and yet we, the mothers who are exhausted with our own daily responsibilities (listing them would just be ridiculous), are competing against one another? For what? What’s the prize? The kids just want to be with you. They don’t need the fancy. They just need you.
So, mommies, let’s try and work together. Support each other. Help one another. Tell each other how frickin awesome we are even if we don’t agree with every decision other moms make. Let’s remember we ALL make mistakes, none of us are perfect, and that if one of our mistakes was put on the internet for the world to see, would that mean we’re horrible moms? No, it means we’re human. So who are we to judge another mom’s struggle?
Let’s remember that these children we brought into the world are watching us, and learning from us, and even though we are typing silently at our laptops or on our phones, we are carrying around negativity and self-righteousness that our children will inevitably pick up and learn. Because honestly, there’s enough hate in the world without us adding to it.
And always tell yourself: I am enough. You’re all they truly want.