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Potty Training: What You Need and Need to Know
By: Elisabeth Meyer
I admit that potty training my first child has been one of the most frustrating things I've ever done. When talking to other mothers who are new to potty training I found out I wasn't alone. The last few months have been a difficult journey, but along the way I've learned a few things that have made it much easier for both my child and myself.
Getting a Game Plan
Before you start potty training, you need a game plan. It may seem simple to you, but your toddler has been going happily in his diaper for all of his life, and there are many steps involved in using the potty. Some of the major considerations include: how to introduce your child to potty training, how to get your child care provider on board, how to define and reward successes, and how to deal with accidents. Reading a potty training book is essential for working out all these issues, and helping you come up with a step-by-step plan that is effective. There are many books on the market that will give you general guidelines and answers to popular questions. I did not find these books very helpful, because I needed specific guidance on building a plan. The "Potty Training For Dummies" by Diane Stafford and Jennifer Shoquist book was the best. It was easy to read, and told me step-by-step what to expect and how to go about the actual process of potty training. It also talked about topics that are particular to working mothers.
Timing
After you read your book, and have a game plan you'll probably be anxious to get going. Be careful not to start too soon, and wait until your child is both developmentally ready, and interested in using the potty. If you try to push potty training before they are ready, you'll have an uphill battle on your hands. You'll find out real quick that you cannot MAKE your child use the potty. If your child is very young, still frequently pees in his diaper, and cannot pull his pants down, he's probably not developmentally ready. The only thing you can do about that is wait for him to get a little older and more mature. Many times you'll find that your child's body is capable of using the potty, but they protest training because it seems easier to them to go in their diapers. There are things that you can do to encourage interest in using the potty. The most important thing is taking them on the shopping trip for supplies, and letting them pick out what they like. If they are excited about things like the potty chair and big kid underwear, they'll be more cooperative and self-motivated.
Picking out the Potty Chair
Probably the most important item you'll need is a potty chair. When picking out the potty make sure you get one that is easy to clean (no nooks and crannies), and has a bowl that is easy to lift out for emptying. Independent two and three year olds like to dump the potty themselves, and a pull out drawer is an open invitation to get pee splashed all over the place. Also, consider the size of your child, and the size of your bathroom. If you have a small bathroom you should look into a potty chair that fits on the toilet seat to save on floor space. These are also good for older children whose bottoms are too big for a little potty. The best ones have handles on the sides for kids to hold onto while getting on and off the toilet. On the other hand, if you have a very young child (18-28 months) you will want to go with a little potty that they can feel secure using. For these kids, I really love the Baby Bjorn Potty Chair. It takes up very little floor space, and is really easy to dump and clean. It also is cheap and comes in a large variety of colors so you are sure to find one your child will love. Beware of the expensive potties that double as step stools, or play music. The ones with the step stools are not that convenient, because you're child will have to move it back and forth to the sink. This just complicates an already complicated process. Also, the ones with music tend to distract kids from what they are supposed to be doing.
Once you purchase the potty add to the excitement by letting your child personalize it with stickers or paint pens. Some parents put blue-tented water (use food coloring) in the bottom of the potty so that when the child pees it turns the water green. This may sound gross or stupid right now, but trust me; you'll do what ever it takes to get your kid to go in the potty. Whatever potty you choose make sure that there is at least one potty for every floor of your house. Furthermore, it may be easier to get your child interested if you put the potty in a convenient place like the living room or play room. This way they don't feel like they have to stop playing to go potty, and being able to see the potty can help remind them.
Big Kid Underwear
The next thing you'll want is some big kid underwear. Look around and you are sure to find your child's favorite cartoon character. Be flexible; if your daughter insists on the boy briefs with Sponge Bob, buy them for her. You want your child to LOVE their big kid underwear because they will try harder not to get them messy. Just be sure to go by the weight limit listed on the package and not just the size listed on the label. Often children wear a different size in underwear than they do in clothing. Also, stick with cotton, even for girls, as synthetics like nylon can cause yeast infections or rashes.
Some people will try to use disposable training pants. Although this is a lot less messy than big kid underwear, I personally think it slows down the process. This is especially true if you know your child is capable of using the potty, but they need a little push in the motivational department. Kids are smart, and they quickly realize that peeing in a disposable training pant is just as easy as peeing in a diaper. After all, with the disposable kind there is no mess or uncomfortable wetness. This is even true of the type that gets cold when wet. It is my experience, and the experience of several other moms I know, that it is better to use the cotton underwear and deal with the messes. My daughter figured out in less than three days of going on the floor that it is easier, less time consuming, and less messy to go in the potty. Having said that, once she started wanting to go only in the potty I did use disposable training pants for naps and long bus rides just in case. If you are concerned about the mess try cloth training pants to help absorb at least part of the wetness.
Potty Accessories
You'll also need Kandoo flushable wipes and toilet paper savers. These are small things that can make a large difference. Kandoo wipes are moistened wipes that are safe to flush.
These are great for older children learning to wipe their own bottoms. Sometimes you can find a box that comes with a dispenser. This allows you to hang the box of wipes under your regular toilet paper roll without removing the toilet paper.
 Furthermore, unless you want a floor, or worse, the toilet, filled with a new roll of toilet paper you'll want to get some toilet paper savers.
It might seem silly to you, but to a bored toddler sitting on the potty spinning the toilet paper roll is great entertainment. Toilet paper roll savers are specifically designed to keep this from happening. I tried to get around this by taking the roll off the wall and putting it on the counter. My daughter decided to try to flush the whole thing down the toilet. You can find them in the baby-proofing area of major baby stores, and you'll recoup the five dollars or so in saved toilet paper, and not having to call a plumber to unclog your toilet.
Potty Rewards
Once your child starts actually going on the potty you'll need rewards. Stickers, and reward charts can work great for older kids. They are not as good for young ones that do not understand "if you get this many stickers or stay dry this many days, I'll take you to the pool". Also, the experts will tell you not to use food as an incentive, because it links positive emotions with junk food. However, after trying everything else, I admit to resorting to bribery involving M&Ms. If you give one for every potty success that is less than 10 a day, and it won't kill their appetite for nutritious food. This coupled with lots of silly dancing/singing and excited praise for successes really helped my daughter. After about six weeks, we moved on to rewarding for staying dry instead of going in the potty. Instead of giving her an M&M every time she used the potty, I give her three M&Ms after lunch if she had dry panties all morning, and the same for after dinner. This really cut back on the accidents she was having in the morning. I guess the bottom line is to reward success instead of punishing accidents, and use what ever you know your child will like.
Nighttime Potty Training
All of this is great for potty training during the day, but what about nighttime? Call me lazy, but I've decided to let that take care of its self. I'm not up for changing and washing sheets, blankets, and stuffed animals every other day. Nor am I up for being woken up in the middle of the night because of an accident. Besides, most children are not developmentally ready to be fully trained at night until they are four, five, or even six years old. If your child is too large to fit in diapers or protests wearing them, there are disposable training pants in larger sizes for nighttime use.
After you have a plan, a cooperative child, a reward system, and supplies you'll be ready to go. The whole process can be extremely maddening, but in a relatively short time your child will be a pro. Both you and your child will feel very proud, because this is a huge accomplishment. However, if things don't go as well as you expected remember you are not alone. Seek support from the other moms you know, and expect some setbacks. Remember that your child has been going in his or her diaper for the last two or three years, and it will take more than a couple of weeks to fully master using the potty.
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